Its a wrap

I'm offically closing down my blog.

I forsee not being able to blog as much any more so I won't bother. I will have another blog tho but I rather keep it a personal thing.

Thanks for surfing thru my blog and giving your views, comments, sympathies, advices and all that.

*BIG muahhhhhhhs*

LadyGem

What Can't Be Seen Or Heard, Is Best

I do respect the way Banana does things. I never would have thought that there would be a day that I would actually agree to what he does. All this while, I have disagreed with his actions and judgements. When he hid his relationship with Sam from us and the time he lied to $$ when she confronted him of his relationship status, I have always thought that he made wrong moves. Now that I see him with Sam, I know that he does make right moves, even though it may seem wrong to us.

Why would I say this...? I had long thought about how my group of friends work. We go yumcha, joked, laughed, bitched, advised and even shared tears together. Yes, we've been through a lot but there is no denying that we also share a certain amount of dislike towards one another. This, we do not ever say out but instead keep in our hearts and maybe tell it to the few who are closer to us in confidelity.

You must be thinking where this Banana and our group thing is going. Let me get to it now. Banana has never told us of Sam existance in his life for the longest time. Even now, after we have known that she is his gf, he hardly brings her out yumcha with us. It's only on certain occasions that he will bring her out and usually he will come yumcha with us alone then go see Sam after. I have always wondered why he does this. Even when we request that he brings her out with us more often, he doesn't.

Now, thinking about it, I do think it's a smart move on his side. Seeing as we're some times bitching about each other, it's best that Sam doesn't know and hence, less problems for her. Banana is so unlike the rest who has partners, whereby when a relationship goes wrong, one will look for someone close in the group and talk about it and the other person has to carry the burden of that person. Since Banana doesn't confide in us about his problem (if he had any) with Sam, we always precieve them as a happy couple, problem free. Maybe they do have problems but they settle it within themselves and when they're out yumcha with us, they're just so lovey-dovey and happy. And Sam on the other hand, does not have to carry the burden and darkness that dwells within our group.

I know that it is our nature (in our group) to care for each other and be there for each other, if not, what are friends for? But when one bitches too much or about the same thing over and over again, it becomes annoying and irritating and the other party will have these feelings towards that person but won't tell it to them but instead, tells it to someone else in the group and together, they will have this ill feeling inside them towards that one person. So, it's a never-ending cycle and problems within our group can never be settled, just as it has been happening for years now.

Some times, ignorance is bliss.
Some times, one has to be cruel to be kind.

Pink, I know you're an avid reader of my blog. If I have hurt your feelings in these last 2 blog, I'm sorry but I can't deny that this is what I feel. Don't doubt that I do love everyone in the group cos I do. You guys have been a family to me already but I just can't stand these ill feelings shared for one another inside each of us. I also know that there is no way of changing it as we've some this far, surviving like this and manage to still be together. Telling the truth will be worse now as it's been like this for too long now. I guess, we have to continue going on like this and maybe just blank out the ugly side of things. As you said, be a selfish evil bitch that don't give 2 fucks about others. I just wanna rant everything out in my blog, makes me feel better. So, don't mind me. Somehow, this reminds me of when SD6 found out about your blog. You were sharing all your thoughts and feelings about him honestly but quietly not letting him know and now that he knows, you feel better. Same goes, I just want to let it all out, quietly.

Bitterness

I think I might need time to be by myself once again. Yes, it's that time again, where I feel the need to get away from it all and just concentrate on myself.

I have been seeing and hearing many negative things lately and this brings me to 1 conclusion, there is so much bitterness everywhere, even among my group of friends.

WARNING: If any of my friends come across this blog, I caution you that this may bring some unwanted feelings and therefore I ask of you to read this with an open heart. Afterall, this is MY blog and I have a right to put anything and everything I feel and think. You have been warned!

Was at Cin's hens nite earlier. Didn't wanna go because of 2 reasons. 1 is because I have no more money. My company is yet to issue our cheque and seeing as the Deepavali and Hari Raya is next week, I will not be able to get my money until the 2nd week of November. This is just so sad as I am so broke and i have never in my whole life felt like this before. No matter how bad the situation is, I always had money for rainy days. Anyways, back to Cin's hen nite. 2nd reason being that my ex's sister is 1 of Cin's bestfriend and I knew that she was gonna be there. I didn't like the feeling of awkwardness but Cin insisted that there would be nothing and that I have to go.

So, I went, with G, Hammie, Meow and Pink. There was indeed awkwardness but not between Carmen (my ex's sis) and me, but it was between Cin's other friends and my group. We just didn't click. Maybe it's because it's the 1st meeting and the group was big, hard to socialize. It was also because neither groups tried to socialize with each other, they kept to themselves and we kept to ourselves. All in all, I didn't think it was all too bad but my friends did. Yes, the place was a bit too small and hence stuffy, we didn't get along and there was only water (which was not much) or alcohol to drink. There were many downsides to it but there were upsides as well, they did try to make an effort to make things work. We were welcomed with warm greetings even though they didn't get along. The food was homecooked but at least they tried. It was partly our fault for not informing them that we will not staying long and joining them clubbing and it was also kinda wrong to leave so early, not playing their game (it's like we were chickening out).

I admit that I am a bitchy person but when I heard the others bitching non-stop, I got a bit annoyed. What's done is already done and there's no point bitching about it. Maybe we could make a better party than them, by learning from their mistakes. I'm pretty sure that Cin's other friends think that we're stuck-up, snobby bitches, just like how we preceive them as prim and proper, rich girls.

What is the world coming to? With all this bitterness and negativity around. It's like as if people has come to embrace the ugly side of life instead of thinking about the more prettier part of life. I think it's because of this that we all die young or wanna try to die young because we're fed up with life. This is also the cause for everyone to have problems and be more burdened by it each day. If only everyone can think positively, we would all be happy bunnies.